Better Mommy-ing

"Do more with Bennett"


I'll admit that sometimes I'm guilty to just getting though the days by keeping Bennett, my year old son, busy and quiet. He's a bit of a handful and always has been. I'm trying to remind myself that he's only going to be this age once and his little mind is absorbing everything. I need to spend more time with him, playing, reading and helping him grow and learn. Other things can wait, other things are less important. This is the time where it's important for him to learn, explore and right now he needs me to help him do that. There's some many things I can do with him to help him. I want to start setting time aside everyday to do things with him that help his development. He deserves more from me, he's here to learn and grow and not just get through each day.

That's something else I want to be better at. I need to learn to appreciate each day. Not just get through the day to get to the weekends or to whatever but appreciate each day and all the little things in it.

I am feeling so positive about the future and about the choices I am making.

Have more patience

Be Patient. Sometimes you have to go through the worst to get to the best. 

That is the lesson I am currently in the midst of learning; the painful, slow and humbling process that it is. This past year raising my son alone has been the hardest year of my life. He hasn't been the easiest child, he had colic and a few other medical problems and cried. A lot. There were many many sleepless nights filled with lots of tears from us both. Being a parent, increasingly so as a single parent, is the most trying on a persons patience. I am slowly learning it's okay to not always have it together and that I'm just going to lose my cool with my son. It's going to happen and it's okay. It's okay if I have a mommy melt down and need a few minutes to myself outside while he is screaming with all he has inside. It's okay to lose my patience sometimes. It's going to happen. But none the less this is an area I can improve on in a big way. I need to learn that in the moments where I lose it and the sounds of his screams and cries are piercing my ears and I'm on the verge of a full on mommy meltdown complete with tears and screaming.....to stop before I get there. Take a deep breath, go outside and breathe. Inhale the good exhale the bad. I need to learn I can't always control things and that too is okay. I'm learning that as hard as I may try life doesn't always go as planned. Actually rarely goes as planned and with the unplanned comes curve balls and plots twists. I'm starting to learn that those unplanned and unexpected things life throws my way are some of the sweetest and rewarding. I am learning to look forward to those moments and appreciate them as they come.

Life isn't always black and white. There's a lot of grey in there too.  

Purposeful 2015

I'm not a huge fan if "New Years Resolutions" so I'm not going to make a list of unrealistic goals to accomplish in the next 365 days. However, I want to make this next year a year of purpose. I want to make use of my time and accomplish things I've been putting off.  So here are my tasks of purpose.

A purposeful 2015

1.    Have more patience

2.    Do more with Bennett

3.    Stress less

4.    Be healthier

5.    Take more pictures

6.    Smile more

7.    Spend more time outside

8.    Graduate school

9.    Love more

10.  Be happy

These are the thing I strive for in the next  months. I hope to better me, for me and the people around me. 

Happy New Year to you and yours. 

Newsies!

Whoa! Slow down time! So many changes are happening I can't keep up! Let's see here...where did I leave off? Beginning of December, December was crazy busy but it kept my mind off of things that were going on. I got through finals with the help of the gym and tanning bed. I was never a big person on  tanning but I've grown to love it and it calms me down! The semester came to a stressful end! But I passed all my classes and even somehow managed to raise my GPA! Yay! Christmas good to me, more then I deserved, I loved spending so much time with my friends and family. Christmas also brought some heart ache. My relationship of 10 months came to a hurtful and bitter end. I am grateful for the time I spent with PJ and the ways he helped me learn and grow. He is a great person and I wish him nothing but the best. I started the new year out with a great group of friends! School is going well, my job is going well, I think i am in the running for a promotion, but with school and everything I'm not so sure if I will be able to balance it but hopefully with summer coming I will be able to challenge myself at work! Unfortunately my diet hasn't been as successful lately, the holidays and winter break put me into a downward spiral of eating. I am starting to get back to my routine and stopped eating things I know I shouldn't be. I can honestly say I am happier now that I have been in a long time! I am so beyond blessed! 

On the other side of fear lies freedom

S

Turkey Lag!

Blahhh. I am 22 days behind on my 30 Days of Gratitude and Thanks! I am going to finish this, as it is now December, this would be my last chance! So without further ado....

Day 5: I am thankful for my job at Jimmy John's. I have had jobs in the past that i was less then fond of to say the least, so having a job that I enjoy and look forward to is something that takes a lot of stress off of me. It may seem like something small but until you've been in that situation, you can't fully appreciate it! I enjoy going to work and my coworkers and learning new things.

Day 6: I am grateful for the opportunity I have to go further my education, again. There is so much more to it then just getting up and going to class. I have a Dad who is willing to help anyway he can, assignment permitting, I have transportation to get there, I have the resources I need to be a successful student. That is something I will always be grateful of and I know will pay off in a a big way.

Day 7: I am thankful for the opportunities I have had to be able to do missions work. I have been to Mexico twice and also been to Nicaragua. These trips changed my heart forever. They opened my eyes to a world I had no idea existed and broke the selfish bubble I lived it. These trips gave me more then I can ever explain, the memories, friendship and experiences are something that I will cherish forever.

Day 8: I am thankful to live in a country where I am free. With the recent election and all the political mumbo jumbo that goes on whether its positive or negative we as a country still have the ability to believe and think as we choose. That freedom comes at a great cost, our service men and woman (another day).  I am grateful for the opportunity to voice my opinions and to vote. This isn't a luxury that people or women for that matter get to experience and I do. Although i know I am only one vote and one voice, I know it matters.

Day 9: Candy. Such a delightful thing and such a small but wonderful piece of my world. Sometimes when you're having a bad day or need a pick me up, a little piece of candy can do just that! Not everything we have to be thankful for has to be a major world issue, but its the little things that can mean the most, not that candy means the most to me, but it can be something to just put a smile on my face and when things aren't always going the best, that smile can mean a lot. So thank you candy, for making me smile!

Day 10: Can't forget man's best friend, right? I am grateful for my doggy, Anna. She truly is my best friend. She knows when I'm down and has no problem staying by side. She can always look at me with her head cocked to one side and it can make me forget about everything and appreciate being there with her. She just celebrated her 10th birthday so now more then ever, I appreciate the time I have with her and try not to take any day for granted. I love knowing that when I come home she'll be there sitting at the door waiting for me and gets so excited every time she see's me whether i was gone for 10 minutes or a few days. I honestly believe dogs are the perfect example of unconditional love. She will always love me, no matter what. She truly makes my everyday better!

Day 11: The saying "Freedom isn't Free" fits perfect for this. Word's can't describe or do justice to the thanks that should be given to our service men and women. They give the biggest sacrifices to keep our country free. Thank you, to all who have served, are serving, and will serve our country.

Day 12: I am thankful for my parents raising me in a church that gave me the foundation of faith I have. Being raised in church is something I took for granted and look back now and am beyond blessed to have had. Being woken up early on Sundays and grumbling and fighting to stay awake during service seem so minimal to what I received in return. I never thought much about my faith until it was tested and now that I have been through the struggles I have this far in my life I am fully confident I can handle anything that God puts in front of me with his help. He gives the biggest battles to his strongest soldiers.

Day 13: I am thankful for the entertainment industry. I couldn't imagine my life without music, movies, TV or books! It would be so boring! Out of all of these things I would be the most lost without music! Music can make my whole day 10 times better just by listening to one of my favorite songs. Movies can make me laugh and cry at the same time! Sometimes there nothing better then spending a day in bed reading a good book! Again, these are some of the littler things in life that make it such much more enjoyable!

Day 14: I am thankful for my hometown. Growing up in a small community was something I took for granted until I moved away from it. Living in a community where you feel safe and comfortable is a luxury not everyone has. I never realized how much growing up in such a small town impacted my life. I will always appreciate and hope it will be something I can give my future children!

Day 15: I am grateful to live in a climate where the seasons change! I love when the weather starts to change between seasons, whether is means it's cooling off or warming up I just love to see the changes!

Day 16: I am thankful to have had the opportunities I was given while living in Indy. I am grateful for the culinary skills I learned while I was attending the art institute. I can honestly say those are skills are will forever use and would not be able to do a lot of things I can without having had that experience. I am also grateful to have had my job at the bakery. I learned so much while working there, more then just baking, but life skills that I have used almost everyday since then. Those are the skills that you can't put a value on. I was blessed to have a boss that took time to show me things that will benefit me for many years to come!

Day 17: I am thankful, grateful and blessed to have had the people in my life that I have had. Looking back at the friendships and relationships I've had I wouldn't trade them for the world. Each and everyone of them taught me something about myself. It makes me sad when I think about how some have dissolved over time but still grateful for the time spent investing in those relationships and creating memories. People come and go out of our lives for a reason and most of the time I don't understand this reason, but none the less, it makes me cherish those memories that much more.

Day 18: I am grateful that I was able to go to a high school with a great athletic program! Some of my best memories of high school involve one sport or another! More then likely it was swimming! I cherish my years spent swimming and can't put into words exactly how much it means to me. It's more then just a sport to me, it helped me become the person i am today through discipline and determination. To this day nothing can clear my head and calm me down like a good swim. I also have very fond memories of soccer. Being a part of the girls soccer team was more then a team, we were a family. Some of those girls became some of my best friends and taught me so much! I gained some great friends and an awesome coach who to this day is still for me whenever I need to talk or just a good laugh!

Day 19: How could I have gotten this far without thinking about my 4-H years!! Geesh, where do I even begin with this! I learned so much while being involved in 4-H. Life skills like learning to be the bigger person when dealing with difficult people to having the work ethic i do today. I owe so much to the 4-H program, I couldn't begin to repay. Again, these are where some of my most fond childhood memories come from. The friends and experiences are something i still often think about. I wouldn't trade the lost sleep of getting up at 4:30 to go go barn chores, or the 15 hour days spent in the heat at the fair, or the blood, sweat and tears I put into my animals for anything in this world. I pray someday that I will be able to give my future children this experience as well.

Day 20: I am thankful for my sense of humor. Without my sarcasm and dry sense of humor I would have no idea how to deal with a lot of things. I am grateful that I can laugh things off and make jokes to deal with less then favorable situations  I am grateful to be able to make other people laugh when they need it or maybe to make a joke to brighten someones day.  When I can make someone laugh it makes my heart happy!

Day 21: Though it may sound silly I am thankful for my cell phone. It allows me to stay in touch with people I  don't get to see that often. It always can be a great resource for school, getting directions and several other random things. It can also be very useful in emergency situations. Without a cell phone, I would be completely lost!

Day 22: Even though I wouldn't call them enemies, I am going to use the term for lack of a better one. I am thankful for my enemies for doubting me and for essentially providing me with self confidence and showing me that even when I am being doubted I can over come something if I put my mind to it.

Day 23: I'm thankful for bed. For always being there for me and being so warm, comfy and inviting. Sometimes you just need a good night's sleep and when I do, my bed is always there with lots of pillows, blankets and of course Blankie and Marshall there to cuddle!

Day 24: I'm thankful for my sports teams I cheer on; Chicago White Sox, Chicago Bears and Notre Dame. Watching sports on TV or in person is just a simple joy in life that I enjoy!

Day 25: I am thankful for social media. It keep me connected with family and friends and is a great networking opportunity!

Day 26: I am thankful for ChapStick. Anyone who knows me knows I will ALWAYS have Chapstick on hand. It will always be Chapstick brand moisture. I can't go a day without using it. I am thankful for chapstick for keeping my lips hydrated and soft!

Day 27: I am grateful for my blog, to be able to share with you my journey of ups and downs in life.

Day 28: I am thankful for pictures. They say a picture is worth a thousand words but I think a picture is worth more in memories then words. I love taking pictures and looking at pictures and feeling the memories and emotions that were captured.

Day 29: I am thankful for all the little things in life, nail polish, hair bows, colored sharpies, flowers, Kleenexes with Vick's, my nook, Justin Bieber, air freshener, candles, build-a-bear, shoes, cupcakes, beer, sweet potato fries and so much more!!

Day 30: I am thankful for you. For reading my blog and reading my ramblings! So Thank you!

S

*Update soon to come, I am all typed out right now!

30 Days of Gratitude and Thanks; Days 2, 3 & 4.

So obviously having the mentality that I would have time to post everyday was a little crazy! But none the less, I am going to try to do it about every 3 or so days. With my busy schedule that's more realistic! So here we go...

November 2nd, I am thankful for my wonderful friends. Though we may not always see each other as often as we like or talk as much as we should. I know if the time came where I needed anything then none of them would hesitate to help as much as they could. They're supportive when I need it and honest when I don't want to hear it. Like everything else in life these friendships have their ups and downs but in the end there is that bond that is unbreakable! I wouldn't trade my friends for anything!

November 3rd, I am so incredibly grateful for my boyfriend. There isn't a day that goes by that he doesn't make me smile, make me feel loved and always tells me how much I am appreciated. He is such an amazing strong person. He doesn't let things get to him, which he is helping me learn to do. He enjoys the little things in life an always makes time for himself which I admire more then he will know. He can make me laugh until I am years as anyone who knows me can tell you how important laughter is to me. He makes me feel like the most important thing in his life and there are no words to express how much that means. I thank god everyday for putting this man into my life. I don't know what I would do without him!

November 4th, today I woke up not feeling that well, nor have I for the past week and I've been complaining an bitter about it all week, my illness is a minor thing, just some heartburn and discomfort from needing to get my wisdom teeth extracted. However, there are people of all ages, races and walks of live fighting for their lives everyday from various diseases. So today I am thankful for my health. I have had my ups and downs with my health, from eyesight to reproductive system issues and by going through those things it makes me truly appreciate my health and the luxuries I have everyday from being healthy. God has truly worked in my life by standing by me as I went through these things and allowed me to continue to live a full healthy life!

Season of Changes

Holy Moly! So much to cover! Where to begin, well let's start with the obvious...my diet, still happy to report GOOD NEWS! I am down 30 pounds, a shirt size and two pant sizes! I am at the lowest weight I have been since high school. Not to mention I can't tell you the last time I was down to this size in pants! I am watching my calories like a hawk! I am really good about staying under my goal, of course I still have days where I go over, It's those dang sweets, they call to me! Haha And then there is my gym life. I love it. The gym has quickly become my happy place. I spend A LOT of time in the pool, I found a great site for swimming workouts that focus on a different aspect of the sport. They're perfect! I also seem to be a terrible judge of time and seem to get to the gym right as water aerobics is starting....so like a 70 year old woman, I've been doing water aerobics occasionally! LOL it's fun! I've also gone to zumba, which is way more intense that what I remember, and leaves me sore for a few days after. I am enjoying pushing myself and discovering new ways of making exercise fun! 
School is going well for the most part, this semester seems to get more and more challenging each week! The homework keeps pilling on! I am still doing really well in 3 of my 4 classes. The fourth being accounting, that is a whole different ball game. I am struggling majorly in that class! Yikes! I started a new job, one at Jimmy John's that I absolutely LOVE! It is perfect for me! No more hang up clothes and cleaning up after lazy people! My crew is so fun! I am thoroughly enjoying it! 

I have been trying to better my attitude and be a more positive and grateful for the blessings in my life so to help with that I am going to be doing '30 Days of Gratitude and Thanks' each day I will make a post about a few things I am grateful/thankful for, whether them be major influences in my life or even the small things we forget about. Feel free to comment and add things you're thankful for as well! 

Let us come into his presence with thanksgiving; let us make a joyful noise to him with songs of praise! ~Psalm 95:2

November 1st; I am thankful for my amazing family, my Dad, Sister and extended family. We've been through our fair share of heartache and tragedy yet we can still stand by each other, support one another and come together when any of us need anything. I am also thankful for my Mom. Though we didn't always see eye to eye and pushed each others buttons, I've come to be grateful for those petty fights and differences because they provides us with a great foundation for the relationship we have now. I know I can turn to her for anything and she is always there to listen and help however she can. I am grateful she was able to find a great guy like Jim also. He has stepped up and been a third parent and been there as I've needed him over the last few years also. I am blessed to have the support system I do in my family. On a lighter note I am also thankful for Coffee. It fuels me everyday and honestly brings me joy. It's one of the smallest things in my life that I truly love. 

Favorite Quote

Love my Mommy!

Cousins are free friends!

Built in best friend