Have more patience

Be Patient. Sometimes you have to go through the worst to get to the best. 

That is the lesson I am currently in the midst of learning; the painful, slow and humbling process that it is. This past year raising my son alone has been the hardest year of my life. He hasn't been the easiest child, he had colic and a few other medical problems and cried. A lot. There were many many sleepless nights filled with lots of tears from us both. Being a parent, increasingly so as a single parent, is the most trying on a persons patience. I am slowly learning it's okay to not always have it together and that I'm just going to lose my cool with my son. It's going to happen and it's okay. It's okay if I have a mommy melt down and need a few minutes to myself outside while he is screaming with all he has inside. It's okay to lose my patience sometimes. It's going to happen. But none the less this is an area I can improve on in a big way. I need to learn that in the moments where I lose it and the sounds of his screams and cries are piercing my ears and I'm on the verge of a full on mommy meltdown complete with tears and screaming.....to stop before I get there. Take a deep breath, go outside and breathe. Inhale the good exhale the bad. I need to learn I can't always control things and that too is okay. I'm learning that as hard as I may try life doesn't always go as planned. Actually rarely goes as planned and with the unplanned comes curve balls and plots twists. I'm starting to learn that those unplanned and unexpected things life throws my way are some of the sweetest and rewarding. I am learning to look forward to those moments and appreciate them as they come.

Life isn't always black and white. There's a lot of grey in there too.